You wont understand,
You will never know....
I'm scared and i hate this sudden feeling.
Yes i do admit ever since the day of the incident, i've been thinking
whether you still like me ..?
Because a part me still like you . I dont know why but you have been
in my mind ever since . Yes i know i tried to move on during sec 2.
And apparently i did. I fell in love . But not with you. I figure out
that during that time , we both might as well just move on ,
i fell in love hard for someone but that someone doesnt even notice
me . Dont even know i even existed but i fell for him and got my
heartbroken in the process.. It hurts alot but i endured it .
For the whole sec 2 year, in my mind was him not you because like i
said , i moved on. Till now he is still in mind too... Someone who
doesnt even know me and i fell in love with. I am pathetic right..? :
( an idiot who thinks that that person will like her back, yeah thats
me...
Then that guy left... He left me without goodbye .. He left without
knowing my feelings for him.. He left without me having the chance to
talk to him.. He just LEFT. he graduated. No longer in my school.. I
miss him a hell lot ! Really i do.
He LEFT, I WAITED..
oh dear, why did i tried moving on..? It hurts more. I'm already
hurt that we broke off and you didnt even know that real reason behind
it till now.. Then i was hurt even more when i fell in love with him :
( when i fall for him, i watched him fall in love with someone else
twice. So basically, i'm in love with two guys..? People say when you
cant decide between two, always choose the 2nd one because if you love
the first one, you wouldnt be falling for the 2nd one. When i was in
love with him, i forgotten all about you, but now that he is gone, all
i could think of is you, you're going to think how selfish and
unreasonable i am . Sighs. Someone told me that i'm too late , you
waited for 2 years , but to think again if i am too late , why didnt
the past 2 years you talk to me? Everytime you see me , its like you
want to avoid me . You never once smile at me again, you always will
just look for a second an then turn away like as though i'm someone
you hate.. Remember the times we had when we were still together?
I miss it you know..? Remember the gift you gave me ? Is
It is still with me if you ever wonder where it is.. And Remember
during sec1 camp? We held hands . You helped me climb the slope. We
were in the same group. Then we played the rubber band thingy and you
tried to hit me but missed . Memories. Sec 1 camp was a month after
our breakup. But we were still okay then. Then as time passes , we
just started drifting apart. I miss talking to you. I miss your
goodnights and goodmornings . I miss hearing you say what a great gf i
am to you. I miss texting with you till late nights. Dont you..? :
( sighs. Am i too late ?
You wouldnt take me back right?
You wouldnt want me back right?
You dont have any feelings for me anymore..?
You wouldnt even want to see me anymore right ?
I dont want you to hate me really, i just miss talking to you.
I cant stand it any longer not talking to you while others can,
Do you know it leaves a ache in my heart when others can just talk to
you and have a great time laughing with you...?
Do you know i just had to keep smiling face when others told me that
they had fun?
I want to talk and laugh with you and be happy, i cant take it any
longer looking at others being so close to you and i'm just there
looking like some retard...
Do you know i long to talk to you...
I dont even think you give a damn :(
Sighs...
Please for once ..?
Talk to me ..?
:(((
Aish, i give up ! Seriously i do !
I cant do this to myself anymore.
If you want me back and still love me , you would have done all this
earlier.. If you really had given up 2 years of waiting then i think i
should to.
I'm strong, and i cant let this matter distract me . I cant keep
hoping for something that aint going to happen. I cant keep waiting
for you since you already gven up.
Its too late, i'm too late. I learnt my lesson. I give up , i'm just
going to give you up. I'm just going to ignore all this as though it
never happen.
As though the sudden feeling waa just passing by. I'm going to forget
you and just erase you away, because i cant keep doing this thing...
Really i cant..
Do you know how much it hurts to keep on wishing that one day you
would talk to me when i can clearly see you wouldnt.
I'm just tired of all this. If you really care, you would show it and
i am afraid you do not. I was just depending to much on hope.
I hate the word hope, because at the end of day, it will all come
crashing down..
And so i say, goodbye to you,
You'll no longer be in my mind or in my heart..
I had enough and i want it to stop,
I will move on...
So once again goodbye to you even if i dont want it to be the last
goodbye..
But i had to , i have to move on to keep myself happy and i know you
do too (:
