i had choices but they were just to difficult

ps. i did that .. hahah .. nice? LOL

Hyuk's POV

after i listen to what Jonghyun said at the radio show , i dont know why but i felt like i
didnt love Darina , the way she needed. did i love her enough? did i treat her enough?

what more could i give? i could only give her my heart...

as soon as the broadcasting was finished , i took a glance at Jonghyun , we took a picture together
in the picture , we were all smiling but little did the fans know it was all just fake.
i wanted to punch him in the face but i knew i cant. i just cant do it. i had to keep it to myself

for Darina's sake. i cant let her down..

so i called Darina , asked her to meet me .

we talked. but then she said this and ... ..
'i am sure! i know him before you oppa , he is my best friend!' she screamed at me.

i stared at her like it didnt even knew her. i felt my heart breaking. i wanted to cry,
but Heechul hyung said that a guy shouldnt cry because of a girl. so i kept my tears
in place.
i can see her there. i could see tears in her eyes. i really wanted to wipe off those tears

in her eyes , but after what she said , i just can bring myself to do it.
i love her . i really do . i love her so much i could die. i never met anyone like her.
but i didnt know this could happened.
i didnt even know what to do , so i took a step back when she tried to touch
me , i cant. i know i cant. and shook my head because i know that if i let her touch me

i will go out of control and will just throw her in my arms. but i must stay strong ...
and then i finally spoke,

'i know what to do . you have two choices , one, pretend we never ever met and know each other or
tell Jonghyun that you can never meet each other again'
i cant even believe myself i just did that.

i try so hard to keep my tears from falling. because i know that statement will
hurt her so much , i dont want to hurt her but what can i do .
knowing that she is best friends with Jonghyun just breaks my heart even more, i
wanted so much to tell her ..
but little did she know the story behind me and Jonghyun.i know one day i will.
but now is not the right time to do it. should i even tell her?
i cant believe i am hurting her so much . could i hug her tight and pretend
nothing is happening ? i know i cant. so i walked off and the tears came
streaming down.. because i know she cant see me cry . i dont even want her
to see my cry . as i walked off , i remember those days where we met till
the day i first kiss her. i wanted to replay those moments. but it was just
the past.

then i stopped , i ran back , i couldnt stand it seeing her crying , worse, because of me.
i wanted to say i was sorry , i wanted to hold her itiny waist against mine and tell

it was alright and nothing like this will ever happened...
but something stopped me , she wasnt alone , she was in the arms of Jonghyun.

that freaking Jonghyun!

if i was the type of guy like kangin hyung , i would have already went up to them and

break the moment. but i am not that type of person . i look at the two of them. i wonder

if i did meet Darina in the beginning will it be like this? the two of them lock in

each other arms ? so , i turn around and felt like my world is breaking apart

the girl i loved,
the girl i met,
is now in the arms of someone,
and that someone isn me.
what have i done..

..