will my smile and laughters ever last again ?
is what i am doing right now the right thing to do ?
i thought it was all over ..
i thought i no longer a have any feelings for you
but you seem to keep coming back to me in my mind.
why ?
why are you doing this to me ?
i thought that maybe i will no longer see you and maybe
that my heart will start to recover from being heartbroken..
but that wasnt how it turned out..
for the first few weeks i didnt see you and i was actually
wondering why you werent there and where were you ?
but i have to keep a brave front in front of my friends ,
i dont want them to think i still have feelings for him even
though i told them i had given up and they den will call me a
damn idiot for liking a guy who dont even know me still..
maybe from the start i was already an idiot ? but why cant
i just stop liking you ? why are you doing this to me ?
the most hurtful thing it that i am the one suffering of all this but
you are just there not knowing what is even happening ?
is this what it called one-sided love?
why must it be us who is suffering from it ?
when i was little i never thought and even knew there was such
a thing called a one-sided love . i always thought love was
shared happily between the one with loved . but NO , it was all
just a damn stupid LIE !
forgetting you was really a difficult thing to do and the hardest
task ever for me to even succeed in it .. maybe becos my heart
has already hidden you inside and it is not willing to let go ?
how can i forget you when you keep appearing before me ?
how can i forget you when i kept smiling to myself without
anyone knowing when i look at you ?
how can i forget you when i cant stop myself from looking at you
when i tried my best to stop ?
are you making me fall for you again ? and then break my heart
again ? is that what you were trying to do ? break my heart?
why are appearing everywhere when i dont even want to see you
but the weirdest thing is that i felt happy when i see you just now
i dunno why but i really felt like screaming with happiness just now..
i tried hard to smile but my heart wont listen to me..
seeing your face seems to my heart beats faster once more..
i know Darina must have feel the same way as me ... i know how
she is exactly feeling right now .. Hurt but yet she is still happy..
isnt it funny that he had hurt you so many times but you kept going
back to him and you could still feel that heart of yours started to
beat so fast that you felt like the whole world is falling apart just for
one guy who dont even know you existed? Darina , i know you still
have feelings for Minho , i could still see it whenever you tried to act
as though you seem pissed with him around but you tried hard not
to show it to us .. you must have felt so hurt and maybe i think that
if you tried loving him again , you're scared you're going
to get hurt again right ? you dont want to suffer anymore right?
but your heart cant stop it .. i'm your twinn and no matter
how hard you tried to hide it form me . i will still know
you're lying to us and yourself... and i feel the exact same thing..
i am heartbroken yet again .. i'm not going to love again
i'm not going to do love that breaks my heart but i cant help it..
you took my heart but you are never giving it back. ..
but once you left the school next year , where i will no longer
see you for real , i might just scream and cry again like the time
when i found out something about you and her...
i might just break down... i might just stop being myself ..
where i will no longer do jokes and laugh or even smile..
should i be like that ?
please dont go , where are you going ? why are you leaving me so early ?
i dont want to suffer any longer..
to kyu ,
I still Love You... saranghae and i will miss you next year...
will we ever meet ? will i be lucky enough ?
i cant stop myself , you are like a stain i cant erase...
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